Hi friends,
This one’s a bit early, as from tomorrow (which is also my 37th birthday!) I’m off work for two weeks. I’ve heard lots of excellent advice about freelancing, and one of those wisdoms was that you MUST take proper annual leave, like you would if you were employed. So as of tomorrow, off go the emails (and probably the bra - #comfy) and on goes the lazy time. So, while I while away the hours at Hampstead Ponds (what’s new?) please enjoy my August thoughts and updates.
Wow, for the newsletter I was the least proud of, that’s the most response I’ve had. Last month I wrote about well, nothing. I didn’t have anything to tell you really, so I just told you that. Why did I bother writing at all? This is a free Substack, after all, so it’s not as if I’m writing because I’m paid to do it. I’m not writing for the sake of content, either - it’s not about having “stuff” “out there”.
No, I’m writing for the sake of writing. I’m writing because I decided to do it, and I committed to it. My most important reader in all this work, really, is me. Me, committing to something I said I’d do because I feel it’s important for my growth as a creative person. But as important as me is, I’m an insufferable attention gremlin (BUT ONLY FOR THE RIGHT REASONS) and I absolutely bloody LOVED the response.
Now, I was talking about being authentic and relatable, so in the interests of that, when I talk about having had any sort of overwhelming response to that newsletter, what I mean is, of the few hundred of you who read it, about 5 or 6 got in touch about it. But that’s just lovely. As I described in last month’s piece, being on the sharp end of a big following is a mighty load to bear, and right now I don’t wish to replicate it in my personal life quite frankly. (Of course, I know my following was less about moi and more about Bloody Good Period, but regardless of what brilliant people ran the social media at the time, the responsibility fell squarely on my shoulders - as it should be as CEO.) (God she loves brackets doesn’t she.)
Until now, my most engagement on Substack has come from the post I wrote about swimming, and burnout recovery. That was a big one to write - it felt extremely cathartic to just tip out my handbag and say “LOOK, this Barbie was a Founder-CEO and now she’s exhausted!” To just be like, well that was hard and this is hard and now I’m just really tired. But as a quite private person, I freaked out a little bit, if I’m honest, because I thought that the only way I was going to get more readers over here was by being consistently vulnerable and I was like oh fuck that. I’m not about to throw some over-privileged pity party and have you think my personality is “bad mental health and the big job I used to do.” (Because it’s not! As I said, I’m quite boring!) So I didn’t know what to even write. How to both authentic and professional - to share the wins in my work life as well as being honest about how hard they are to achieve at the same time? Also without insulting anyone.
In a recent article from The Cut, Ann Friedman wrote:
To have a following on the internet today is to exist in what Cornell communications professor Brooke Erin Duffy calls “the authenticity bind,” a tightrope “between being too real and not real enough.”
Urch, am I right? Not urch, in what they wrote (it’s very smart), but urch that being honest online is a constant, dizzying dance. It’s a dance I’m still learning the steps to, and given my inability to pick up steps, it’s maybe one I’ll never get quite right.
Anyway, with that, one update, for the Leeds lot, and a request to all of you.
I’m really looking forward to my panel at Leeds International Festival of Ideas, on September 27th. We’re asking When will women’s health be taken seriously? Tickets here.
I’m currently in the process of writing a book about what I’m calling Everyday Exits and Endings. It’s all about those endings and leaving experiences and transitions that mean a lot to us personally, but don’t necessarily get the air time they deserve. I would LOVE to know what yours are. It can be as tiny as leaving your bed in the morning to the ending of a film. Or it might be a bit bigger, but not quite as far along the spectrum as you know, death, so you end up feeling it’s not significant enough to cover.
Tell me about your exits and endings (not in a rude way.) Please either hit reply and let me know your thoughts or pop them in the comments at the end.
And that’s it for now! Have a wonderful end of summer you lot.
Gabby xx